How to Handle Imposter Syndrome
5 Tips to make Friends with your Doubts
I was nervous beyond words, pacing up and down, going through the notes over and over. I was sweating, felt nauseous, and my heart was racing. This was my worst nightmare: I was about to give a presentation on Anxiety at a training event, on a topic I didn’t feel I was an expert on, using a script I had had no part in writing. The presentation was originally planned to be done by one of my co-workers and one of her colleagues, but he had cancelled at very short notice so I was asked the afternoon before to jump in and present his part. They had written the presentation, this was not my material. But there was nobody else who could have helped, so I had to learn it overnight and then present it competently and confidently less than 24 hours after I first got to read it. And here I was, about to go on, feeling like all eyes were on me! But I was a qualified psychologist with solid knowledge about this topic, so why was this so hard?
Of course there was the fear of public speaking itself, which is very common and in fact more common than the fear of death (which suggests that statistically speaking the person giving the eulogy at a funeral would probably rather be the one who died). But there was also a long list of thoughts racing around in my head that didn’t help:
Who was I to give a talk at a training event in the first place?
Who was I to present on Anxiety when I felt like this?
Why should anyone take me seriously when I was only quite recently qualified?
I felt like an imposter, that I had no business being there, and that the audience were about to find that out very publicly. Imposter Syndrome had me in a tight grip!
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome refers to the feeling that you do not deserve to be where you are or that you have not really earned it legitimately. You doubt your skills and abilities, and are expecting to be ‘found out as a fraud’. Whilst it is quite wide-spread, there are some triggers that can make Imposter Syndrome more likely to occur:
High Achievers often experience Imposter Syndrome, which may initially start if they are forced to operate outside their comfort zone, or after making a significant mistake, for example in a new job or after taking on a new role. Imposter Syndrome can also be due to perfectionism and is sometimes linked to procrastination, which then often means that work is done very last-minute and is of lower quality as a result, which feeds the Imposter Syndrome further, creating a vicious cycle.
Career changes are another area where Imposter Syndrome can often emerge, for example after taking on a new job or being promoted into a new role. This is usually due to anxiety in a new and unfamiliar environment, as well as uncertainty about your capabilities in the new position. There are new responsibilities, new behaviours are expected, which can be especially difficult if you now need to lead a group of people that you used to be a part of yourself only yesterday.
Women also experience Imposter Syndrome more commonly, which appears to be linked to the challenge of increasingly stepping into previously male-dominated roles. This can lead to a perceived – and sometimes unfortunately also a real – need to ‘prove yourself’ to your male colleagues. Men also experience Imposter Syndrome but it may be less evident or less culturally acceptable for them to talk about openly.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Whilst it might feel tempting to eliminate Imposter Syndrome, it is difficult to fully overcome. It may also not be something we should fully get rid of because it can in fact be useful. There are some situations in which it would be concerning if we had no doubt about our abilities at all. Being too sure of yourself might lead to complacency and arrogance, which could in turn lead to negative outcomes, for example in professions with some intrinsic risk, e.g. medical professions. In other words, a small dose of Imposter Syndrome can keep us more focussed and motivated to do our very best. So instead of aiming to eliminate Imposter Syndrome altogether, it is probably more realistic and beneficial to learn how to manage it and to make peace with it. Here are a few initial suggestions to get started:
Shift your focus from internal, i.e. about you and your capability (“I am not good enough”) to external, for example about the people you are serving (“How can I make the best of this experience and help them?”).
Create an imaginary ‘character’ for your Imposter Syndrome. This is another way to make the focus external and it allows you to treat those doubts as something that is not an intrinsic part of who you are that you just have to accept as it is, but as something separate from you that you can change and interact with. You can be quite creative and have fun with this: what does your Imposter Syndrome look like, how do they speak, what are its mannerisms? What would you call it?
Build evidence over time that proves that you are competent, knowledgeable, and skilled, and that you deserve to be where you are. Keep track of your accomplishments and achievements. Similar to a gratitude journal, you can keep a Success Journal and list things like your positive qualities, your past successes (big and small), big obstacles you overcame, and your most fulfilling accomplishments.
“Fake it ‘til you make it” and act confidently, using body language that is typically associated with feeling powerful and in control, for example placing your hands on your hips, or stretching your arms out wide in a victory pose. There’s an interesting Ted talk by Amy Cuddy on this topic in which she goes one step further and suggests that you “fake it ‘til you become it”.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset. Imposter Syndrome is correlated to having a fixed mindset that assumes that our qualities and abilities are fixed and cannot change. By contrast, a growth mindset sees the potential for ongoing learning and growth, and this allows us to see mistakes as useful feedback that helps us to improve. Use positive growth-minded language like “I am learning and improving” or “I can benefit from this experience and do better”.
Unfortunately, I was not aware of any of these tools when I gave that presentation on Anxiety and despite having almost a decade of learning and training as a psychologist, I was not very familiar with the concept of a growth mindset. The beginning felt pretty shaky, I was stumbling over my words and I worried that nobody in the audience would take me seriously. Nonetheless, I still managed to relax after a few minutes and I got into a good flow after the initials stumbles. Once I had started the rest of the presentation went well and at the end of the event I took questions and answered them competently, based on solid knowledge as a psychologist with expertise on the topic of anxiety. I no longer felt like an imposter.
In hindsight, I understand that I had made things much harder for myself with perfectionism and setting very high expectations for myself. This is very common and trips up people who are actually highly skilled and competent at what they do. We may not be able to fully get rid of Imposter Syndrome, but we can learn to benefit from it rather than be paralysed by it. For that to be possible we need to make the shift towards accepting it and embracing it as a useful motivator to do and be our best and to help us to keep learning and get better at what we already do well.
BEYOND THE BLOG
If you want to end the struggle with self-doubt or imposter syndrome, and improve your mental well-being or your leadership and management skills, book a complimentary, no-obligation 30-minute Discovery Call with me.
